So I went to London today - I met up with my best friend and his sister. Its strange to think that such a simple day can actually refresh you no end; walking around London, chatting, laughing, talking (talking and chatting are actually different), pretending to be posh.
I'd been having one of those months - 'I don't know what to do, I keep changing my mind, I don't know where anything is going anymore' - but after seeing my friend everything has cleared up in my head! Its amazing how someone I've known for ... 3 months (??) ... can cause me to think 'what would I do without this person?' when I can't imagine life without him. He's like the brother I never had (only-child syndrome).
We had such fun. We didn't do anything special but it was fun!!! There are some people when walking around Harrods would seem like such a lame day out... But it's how you do it. The running commentary throughout the shop, the laughs; the day was just plain good! Long gone are the days when I can base a friendship on 'drunken experiences' we've had. I don't want that anymore - I don't even care about what you did at the weekend and how smashed you got. I don't want to associate with people who require that for friendship.
I now know not to let people walk all over me... Who are you? Who am I? YEP. Talk to the hand... (you see the increased sense of arrogance I'm exhuming [posh words too... yknow!]) I do not need people to treat me like that, and if you do, you're not worth my time.
Friendship is an individual thing. I don't care for group situations any longer. Yes, they're a necessary part of life - can't really avoid a group situation without becoming a complete recluse - but they're not 'friendship'. Friendship is being able to talk to someone, one on one, and they understand you (or at least they try to), they listen to you, and you listen to them. For too long I've been the listener (I'm sure you can't understand that from the amount I ramble on my blog... OUP).
I need people just to be real with me. And if you're not real with yourself, how can you be real to anyone else.
Another thing I learnt today... Beauty is not confidence. People with confidence are not attractive simply because of their confidence. It helps people notice what they do have.
Thats one thing that annoys me. I know so many people who are extremely insecure but absolutely beautiful (I have deliberately avoided the 'stunning' or 'gorgeous' type words). They don't know it. And because they don't know it, guys don't see it either.
I'm going to wait for the one person who can see any beauty in me without me having to put whatever I do have on a plate and halo it with my confidence. I want one person who sees me and doesn't even comment on other girls.
This was going to be a nice succinct little post... Its turned into a super rant.
But anyway, dearest friend who I saw today, if you ever read this, thank you.