I've just finished a skype-call with someone extremely important to me. We said goodbye, goodnight etcetc and I shut the lid of my laptop and I realised how very alone I was.
I miss him so much, I actually can't believe it. I'm not the kind of person who misses people but I find myself nearly on the brink of tears - this is getting a little bit emo but I don't care, because he's worth it.
Its strange seeing someone's face on skype and not being able to reach out and poke them... I think it makes me miss him more because it puts a face to the voice I hear on the phone, the text messages on my screen. A face that I love and I miss.
I miss not being able to be with him all the time, or at least not having the possibility of seeing him. 99+ km away we are... It's a depressing thought. I'm being selfish because there are so many people out there who never get to see their friends, their loved ones, and I know I'll see him soon. But I'm a selfish person and I want him here, NOW!!
Its funny because when I'm with him or talking to him, I'm different - probably annoying - but definitely different - and I like it. We have a different 'world', the two of us. It sounds so cheesy. Half the time he doesn't understand me but we'll work on that. Half the time I don't understand him, but we'll work on that too. But there's something that makes me always want to talk to him over everyone else - and when he doesn't want to talk to me, I feel like Looney Tunes has just said 'That's all folks'. (My mum will understand the depth of this statement).
I hate skype for that reason because it makes me miss him more. But then I love it because it lets me see him. I felt so alone ending that skype call. Like having an invisible friend, or Sirius pop up in the fire and then leave again.
And for this reason, Uni sucks.
99+ km is too far.