Friday, 10 February 2012

realisation.

Sometimes it takes someone you don't talk to a lot to point things out to you. Me and this person speak quite a bit, but we've never had a 'real' conversation. This time we spoke about things.

He made me realise honestly what I need to look out for. Guys are snakes. He admitted that himself. He's a moral guy, it's probably his upbringing. But he declared that the one thing you don't do is ask a girl to pay for things for you. You either pay yourself. Or don't get it. He got quite passionate over this... It was a little scary.

He also said that a guy who really cares about you would never hurt you. Its weird because I've always thought that feelings are important. Actions are secondary. But I know, and I guess I've always known, actions reflect feelings. There's never any excuse for them hurting you: if they kiss someone else, in whatever circumstances, its not ok. If they're flirting, slagging you off, using you, its not ok. I just need to put my feelings aside sometimes and 'think about what you deserve and what you're worth' apparently. Its good advice for all female-kind really.

I'm too romantic for my own good. I guess I just have to stop being so gullible. I need to show people when they hurt me. They need to know.

Although right now I'm feeling down because everything's been brought back up again. Things in the past have resurfaced. But I have to do a (500) Days of Summer and 'look again'.

I need to love myself before others can love me. (sorry I plagiarised you again... but you're so damn wise...)

Today I realised how amazing my friends are here.

I've got my best friend who I can always rely on.
I've got my study-buddy.
I've got my bitches who bring me remedies for my illnesses.
I've got my confidantes (all of them basically... I trust them all).
I love all of them so much.

I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now.

My mum told me to thank my friends for looking after me (I'm ill you see).

I hate on Cambridge a lot. But the friends I have here, I wouldn't change anything. Things are going to be ok.

Whatever happens, they're there for me. They won't judge me for my choices even if they have opinions on what they think I should do.

I just need to stop believing things that are quite clearly not true.

Enough.

X

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