Saturday, 18 February 2012

women and insecurities.

It seems that these two go hand in hand. I've never met a girl who doesn't have something that she would like to change about herself.

Here's my favourite quote in the world. Its something we should all remember.

"The absence of flaw in beauty is itself a flaw."
Henry Ellis

There's so much that we can find wrong with ourselves:

  1. eyes: too small, too big, wrong colour, wrong shape
  2. nose: too small, too big, too pointy, too round
  3. mouth: too small, too big, wrong shape
  4. body: wrong shape, too big, too small, out of proportion, short legs, long legs, small boobs, big boobs, (I hate the word 'boobs' it makes me feel sick). big hips, no hips, boney hips, flabby hips.
There's way more but I'd be here forever... 

I was having a conversation with my best friend about what I'd like to change about myself. He thought I'd go for the height thing... I'm short, but I actually wouldn't want to be taller... Its easier for short girls to find guys anyway. I said that I'd like to be a good few inches thinner... everywhere. 

He laughed at me. He told me if I was skinnier, I'd lose all 'sex appeal'... I nearly choked because I certainly don't have any of that anyway. 

I said I'd like a thinner face so I wasn't stuck with chubby cheeks, and a round face like humpty-dumpty. He laughed again and said I'd look like a skull with no flesh if I got rid of my cheeks.

Everything I wanted to change about myself he thought was ridiculous. I've lost weight recently, not a lot, but a bit. I visited my grandma yesterday and she nearly screamed. Its amazing how its always the grandmas who want to 'fatten you up'. She made me eat two helpings of food; she tried to push for a third but I honestly couldn't. 

I hate it when I see people not eating and getting visibly thinner when they don't need to at all. They were perfect to begin with and now they're just destroying all the beauty they have. I won't lie, I'm particularly jealous of those people with amazing metabolisms who can eat all they like and still be perfectly slim. (I'm using the word slim rather than skinny because they're very different things). Everyone needs to stop with the trying to look 'perfect' because when they do, they fail. They were closer to perfection as they were. 

I won't ever dye my hair or wear coloured contacts: my eyes and my hair are the two things that I wouldn't change about myself. I've worn 'false eyelashes' twice now... They're cool... I only wear them because it draws attention away from the rest of my hideous face and to my eyes wooo! I know girls who wear them all the time. One of my friends from Uni. She took them off once and I was taken aback. She looked so different. I'd got used to her with them on, and without them she looked plain. This is why they're bad. They don't show people what you really look like. 

I'm now refusing to lose any more weight. I've decided I don't care what people think of me. If I'm happy looking how I am then that's fine by me. I'm not changing because I think people might 'like the change' or find me more attractive. Why do I care?

To be honest, if it takes fake eyelashes, layers and layers of make-up, crash diets and tight fitting clothes to make people find me more attractive, then I don't need them. I don't want to be one of those girls who looks great with so much make-up on but when you take it off I actually look like a pug. (Plus it actually turns out that a lot of guys can't tell when girls are wearing make-up and when they aren't so there's a hell of a lot of money gone to waste...) 

Insecurities are the only thing that makes us change the way we look. And we don't need it. 

So there.

I'm going to leave you with the song my mother and I bopped away to in the car 4 times last night. I saw Ms Dynamite perform this approximately 10 minutes after she shook my hand and said 'its nice to meet you' (yes she said that TO ME). I was front row, kicking everyone out of the way to let the short girl through.

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