Sunday, 4 March 2012

watch the girls go by

So I wanted a perfect library session with my best friend but it didn't happen. I found out many more interesting things instead and caught up with another close friend instead who has challenged me to a badminton match. 

Its a down day for me, I think, and therefore I don't quite know what to do with myself. After a brilliant day yesterday, its just been pretty shit today. 

I can't bring myself to do work stuck in my room, all alone. And I've been thinking about things too much. Its never good when you think too much but I have the most wonderful friends here.

I'm just about to go and visit my friend who's actually ill in bed at the moment so I'll go and make him some food or something like the little skivvy that I am. Its okay he's a brilliant person, its okay. 

Memories of a beautiful day, with a beautiful friend. I want this weather to come back... It's a little bit ridiculous that we've had snow!

Anyway: here's my conclusion for today: there's always something else when someone fails you. I need to keep my options open, and my eyes need to keep looking ahead - no looking back.

I need to believe in myself and realise that there is more for me. I don't have to keep holding on to something for fear something else won't ever come along. Things need to be proven to be worth it for that.

I don't even know what I'm talking about, but I'm having fun, I'm enjoying university life. Having a hobby... or a distraction... is a brilliant thing. It makes getting up in the morning worth it, looking good worth it, and makes everything a bit more fun. 

dressing to impress. 

a guy who'll call you just to say goodnight, i love you
a guy who'll make it known to his friends youre the only one who deserves his attention
a guy who'll send you texts throughout the day; random thoughts he wants to share with you
a guy who doesnt need to tell you youre beautiful, because he makes you feel it
a guy who'll let you feel safe and secure in the world and his heart
a guy who'll make sure youre okay, understand when youre not
a guy who'll send you quotes from your favourite films, record voicemail messages for you to wake up to

fuck it. this is life. 
and this is why i write fiction.
real love is different. i think.
it has to be..
love x

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